THE WOUND

It’s not the big conversations we have as parents, but the little phrases spoken, the glances, or the refusal to make eye contact that carry the most power. Today I took a call from a young lady that is hurting. The physical pain a parent inflicts on a child is understood as out of control and devastating to that child. Most parents would never cross that line. However, the blows landed by the power of a phrase or a look is many times even more devastating. Those are the hidden blows that don’t show in colors of black and blue. But they leave a wound deep in the heart and soul that may fester long after bruises heal. That wound left untended, and ignored begins to show its destruction in the choices that child makes and will continue to make until that wound in finally cleansed and allowed to heal.

A month ago I sat in my office and visited with a woman, dying of cancer, who’s biggest wound(and her wounds were great,) was caused by a short phrase uttered by her mom and reechoed in that woman’s heart for 29 years, “You are worthless.” This week I sat in the home of a 12 year old girl and watched that cycle repeat it self. Careless words that come fast and slip weightless from the mouth of an embarrassed or angry parent fall like the weight of a building on fragile spirits.

Parents, our teens can and will frustrate us. Lets remember, please weigh carefully the weight of words spoken, or affection with held. Chose to bless and not tear down your teens. Make your words of discipline a gift to help them succeed, not a wound of destruction.